The Starr Report: The Findings of Independent Counsel Kenneth W. Starr on President Clinton and the Lewinsky Affair, with Analysis By the Staff of The Washington Post

Here it is--the result of four years of investigative research, at an approximate cost of $40 million. Back in 1994, Kenneth Starr was appointed to investigate a series of investments made by Bill and Hillary Clinton; the Whitewater allegations never bore fruit, but then somebody whispered stories about the president and an intern named Monica Lewinsky into Starr's ear. He and his team of prosecutors sniffed around, and this is what they've come up with: "According to Ms. Lewinsky, she and the President had ten sexual encounters, eight while she worked at the White House and two thereafter." The details are bathetic in their precision: "during many of their sexual encounters," Starr notes, "the President stood leaning against the doorway of the bathroom across from the study, which, he told Ms. Lewinsky, eased his sore back." And yes, as far as we know, that was the president's semen on Monica's navy dress.